Holding a PhD in Horribleness

  • Penny: So keep your head up, Billy-Buddy.
  • Captain Hammer: I don’t go to the gym, I’m just naturally like this.
  • And these are not the hammer. The hammer is my penis.
  • Newscaster: It’s a good day to be homeless.
  • FanBoy: So they say he saved her life.
  • FanGirl: They say she works with the homeless and doesn’t eat meat.
  • All: We have a problem with her.
  • Captain Hammer: This is so nice.
  • I just might sleep with the same girl twice.
  • They say it’s better the second time.
  • They say you get to do the weird stuff.
  • Fans: We do the weird stuff.
  • Mayor: Justice has a name. And the name that it has, besides justice, is Captain Hammer.
  • Captain Hammer: Cute, huh? Sort of a quiet, nerdy thing. Not my usual, but nice.
  • Home is where the heart is, so your real home’s in your chest.
  • There’s so many different muscles I can flex. There’s the deltoids of compassion. There’s the abs of being kind.
  • Dr. Horrible: Your disguise is slipping
  • Captain Hammer: I think this is what pain feels like!!