Stumpy's Favorite Southern Sayings

  • I won't say it's far, but I had to grease the wagon twice before I hit the main road.
  • Busy as a funeral home fan in July.
  • If a trip around the world cost a dollar, I couldn't get to the state line.
  • We were so poor I had a tumbleweed as a pet.
  • He looks like he was inside the outhouse when lightening struck.
  • She looks like she was born down wind from the outhouse.
  • Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
  • Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
  • Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.