The Greatest Seinfeld Quotes

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  1. "No soup for you!"
  2. "The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli"
  3. "Hellooo Neuman"
  4. "I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"
  5. "Yada yada yada"
  6. "These pretzels are making me thirsty!"
  7. "Oh, Noooo, I'm so sorry. It's the Moops. The correct answer is, The Moops."
  8. "SERENITY NOW!!"
  9. "Yeah, well, the jerk store called, they're running out of you."
  10. "You dipped the chip. You took a bite, and you dipped again...That's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip, just take one dip and end it."
  11. "You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on?!!"
  12. "That is one magic loogie"
  13. "I flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami."
  14. "Just remember, when you control the mail, you control... information."
  15. "Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint; it's delicious!"
  16. "So, anyway, if you think about it, manure is not really that bad a word. I mean, it's 'noor', which is good, and a 'ma' in front of it, which is also good. Ma-noor, right?"
  17. "I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong?"
  18. "And you wanna be my latex salesman?"
  19. "It's not a lie if you believe it."
  20. "Unfortunately, I didn't have a partner. I got gonorrhea from a tractor."
  21. "I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate, I've got it all!"
  22. "Believe it or not, George isn't at home. Please leave a message at the beep. I must be out or I'd pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not, I'm not home. "
  23. “Suzy, give me schtickle of fluoride”
  24. "Parking at a garage is like going to a prostitute. Why pay for it when you can apply yourself, and then may be you can get it for free."
  25. "Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it Roundtine. That's gold, Jerry! Gold!"
  26. "I think I can sum up the show for you with one word; Nothing."
  27. "It's Christmas for some, a Festivus for the rest of us!"
  28. "You can't break up with me, I've got hand!"
  29. "And by the way, they're real- and they're spectacular."
  30. "But are you still master of your domain?"
  31. "Elaine, he's a male bimbo. He's a mimbo!"
  32. "Who?! Who does not want to wear the ribbon?!"
  33. "I'm not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that."
  34. "Hoochie Mama. "
  35. "My name is George, I’m unemployed and I live at my parents"
  36. "You very bad man, Jerry. Very bad man."
  37. "Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!..."
  38. "Oh, you're as pretty as any of them. You just need a nose job."
  39. "It's not a purse, it's European."
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