A List of The Most Cheesy Songs Ever (work in progress)

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  1. What is Cheese?
  2. Apart from the delicious proteinaceous milk deelicacy we all love to enjoy, it is that stuck-in-you-head-so-that-you-have-to-brainwash-to-get-it-out sound we all love to hate but know the lyrics and tune by heart. ost songs written to mourn the death of loved ones or announce one's imminent suicide are cheesy.
  3. Most epic stories put to music are cheesy.
  4. All songs about wanna-make-love are cheesy.
  5. All songs that talk about teenage rebellions and life as death are cheesy.
  6. All songs that go like dum-deeh-dah-oo-uh-yeah-cmon now-tralalalala-aaaooow-aa are cheesy.
  7. All songs about candies, lollipops, dogs dead (honestly, I wouldn't care less if you castrated the poor mutt) are cheesy.
  8. Songs with overplayed, overprouced, overimposing, wanna-be-cool musical notes are cheesy.
  9. All ghetto songs, songs on prison life and just how painful it is to be a 'gangsta' are f*cking cheesy.
  10. You get the drift right? Chances are, you'd have heard at least one of the songs on VH1 or Mtv and thought, whoa that's some crap. Wtf I like it!
  11. Here is an (endless) list of THE WORST of the lot. Suggestions appreciated. Oh yeah one more thing - cheesy doesn't have to mean 'bad'. It is just so stick-in-your-head that you have to get brainwashed. And as fate would have it, Cheese has to be moderately popular too.
  12. Anything, anything at all by Akon. Man, where do I start. Just when you thought 50 cent and his prison/ghetto music was as bad as it gets, in comes a guy who's twice as untalented and with a vocabulary limited to half of his. And he sings with through his nose. Someone pass me the aspirin.
  13. World Cup '98 theme song - Ricky Martin
  14. D-I-S-C-O - (don't know who)
  15. Jai Ho - Pussycat Dolls (I'm an Indian. Rehman made us all proud and truly, he deserved an Oscar. But not for this piece of crap! And somehow the Dolls managed to make it a lot worse.)
  16. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira (ooh baby when you talk like that... you make a woman go maddddd...d'uh. That's as interesting as 'Lucky my breasts are small and hummble so that you don't confuse them for mountains'.)
  17. All out love - Air Supply
  18. Body Shaking -911 (Does anyone remember these guys?)
  19. My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
  20. Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx
  21. Cotton Eye Joe - Rednex
  22. Crazy Frog - Axel F
  23. Venga Boys - We Like to Party
  24. Where do you go - No Mercy (really... NO mercy)
  25. La Isla Bonita - Maddonna
  26. We Built This City - Starship
  27. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy - Rod Stewart
  28. Don't Cha - Pussycat Dolls
  29. The Launch - DJ Jean (this song is plain f*cking stupid)
  30. Barbie Girl - Aqua
  31. Touch my Bum - The Cheeky Girls
  32. Dancing Queen - ABBA
  33. Macarena - Los Del Rio
  34. Hot in Here - Nelly
  35. The Ketchup Song - Las Ketchup
  36. Are You Jimmy Ray - Jimmy Ray
  37. Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion
  38. Scatman John - Scatman
  39. Alarama - 666
  40. Alane - Wes
  41. All Coming Back to Me - Celine Dion
  42. He's a pirate - Teisto
  43. Candy Man - Aqua
  44. If You Wanna Be My Lover - Spice Girls
  45. Love Don't Cost A Thing - J.Lo
  46. Survivor - Destiny's Child
  47. Coco Jambo - Coco Lee
  48. Bootylicious - Destiny's Child
  49. Baby - Ashanti
  50. Tarzan and Jane - Toybox
  51. In Da Club - 50 Cent
  52. Addictive - Truth Hurts
  53. Sexy Eyes - Whigfield
  54. I want Candy - Aaron Carter
  55. 5 6 7 8 - Steps
  56. I'm too sexy - Right Said Fred
  57. Glitter - Mariah Carrey
  58. Heaven - DJ Sammy
  59. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da - The Beatles
  60. Be my lover - La Bouche
  61. Oh Yeah! - Usher
  62. Miami - Will Smith
  63. Freek! - George Micheal
  64. Waiting for tonight - Jennifer Lopez
  65. A** Like That - Eminem
  66. American Life - Maddonna
  67. I Think I'm in Love - Jessica Simpson
  68. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
  69. I'm a slave for you - Britney Spears
  70. Oops! I did it again - Britney Again
  71. Dirrty - Christina Augilera
  72. Burned with Desire - Aarmin Van Buurren
  73. Blue - Eiffel 65
  74. Can't get you out of my head - Kylie Minogue
  75. Party All Time - Eddie Murphy
  76. Belly Dancer - Akon
  77. She Bangs - Ricky Martin
  78. Rollin - Limp Bizkit
  79. Crazy - Britney Spears
  80. I'll never break your heart - Backstreet Boys
  81. Disco Inferno - 50 Cent
  82. Lil Bit - 50 Cent
  83. Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
  84. Romeo - Basement Jaxx
  85. Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
Author Comments: 

After more than two years of this list, I have finally come to realize this is pointless. There is SO MUCH of deserving crap being produced, and frankly, I don't give a shit. Irregularly updated.

I have to heartily agree with almost all of the entries on this list, though I think some of them maybe aren't so cheesy so much as just utter crap.

However, I really have to profess my affection for Eminem's Ass Like That. He's funny and I like the beat. I won't defend Eminem as an artist, since I don't really care if anyone else likes him or not - I like him, end of story.

I'm glad you made this point...

Eminem : No other name brings up more conflicting opinions than this man. Eminem I feel is one of the many artists stuck in the transition between the Oldskool and Newbreed music. It's like an overscratched CD -It plays for a while, gets stuck, reloops in the same section over and over and over again...till good luck shines your way and it actaully plays a lil bit forward. With Eminem it looks like he'll make a new sound, play it for 50 songs, cash it, crash it, again make a new sound... But that's history.
I loved his Without Me . It was new. It was fresh. It was funny (and how!). It was different. Most importantly, it was original . Now that's ONE thing he clearly excelled in from mid 1999 to early 2003. I remember when Loose Yourself was released. It was a phenomenon. It was amazing. Apart from being something we could all relate to, it was pure rap genius .

So far so good. Then why do I hate this man so much now? Well, it's OK to know how creatively you describe your troubled past, how you say "fuck you dammit!" to your mother. Or how you want kids to know about sex. Or about drugs. Or about your wife. Or how you hate Augilera. Or Techno. Now I ain't holding any damn moral mouthpiece...what I'm, trying to say is that there's something called repetitiveness . That means you are cashing in on the same theme over and over and over and over again. Here's a check : Mockingbird, Cleaning out my closet, Stan etc etc. If I'm not wrong, then all of them have the I'm-so-pissed-with-life theme to it. Now that's where you get increatively boring Stanny boy. Sorry guys, but there's more to rap than sex, drugs, bitches and yourself. I would really appreciate a musical (is there any music in rap?) artist if he can be creative. If he can be original. If he can satirise without being cheaply vulgar.

"Ass like that" - Well, it is a break from his earlier themes. But it is plain amazing how this guy has been able to put up his sexual train of thoughts in such a cheesy song. "The way you move it, You make my Slinky, Going Going Goingaaaaaa". Aaaaaargh! My ears are bleeding. How is it even possible to make such an awful sounding track. I read a nice lil' blast piece on it that said "It's aimed at the age group of 15 when hormones rage through your system and you feel like quenching your sexual hunger". Indeed.
You being a very good music observer, I gather you liked it because of it's style and funny content. Now that's one angle I didn't notice (Damn! If only I had a musical degree... ). Though I wonder if I'll like it still...


Sorry to all Eminem Fans out there..I ..just..don't...like..him. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree

I see Ass Like That as sort of making fun of someone who lusts after young celebs like Jessica Simpson and Ashley Olsen. He's obviously putting on a persona when singing that song. In any case, he sings about his "peepee" which appeals to the juvenile in me. If it's between 50 Cent singing about sex in that deadly serious, must-be-the-sexiest-tune-in-the-dance-club way, or Eminem being joyfully irreverant, I'll take Eminem any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

But as you said, I think we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't care much about making anyone else like him, and I certainly won't push my opinion about him on anyone else. So by all means, hate away! ;)

"Love Don't Cost a Thing" was a lot worse than "Waiting for Tonight" :-p

Damn! How could I forget!

I almost forgot... "Jenny From the Block" tops them all.

Umm...not really...I don't think JLos reached her worst yet ;)

Oh yeah, that Ashanti song grates my nerves too, and you should include Destiny's Child entire career, especially "Soldier".

Thank the Lord they're splitting. Survivor get on my nerves every time it is (was) on radio...

I'm so glad to see I'm not the only person who can't stand Celine Dion!! %-รพ

Yes! Finally someone who hates her...Boy if only she could be transported to war prisons..she can be used to torture the prisoners there. ( Muhahahahaha )

She's Canada's secret weapon! ;)

Boy she's destroying it's peace image. Now I know why the Titanic actually sank. The glasses broke open.

You know, I just heard on some show that the band kept playing, the entire time it was sinking. I think they were trying to drown her out. (No pun intended!)

Aaah! Complete Celine bashing here . Hell it feels good!

Update : Just resturctured it, in order of worst to less worst...

You don't have any old songs.

Everyone knows that cheese improves with aging.

So by that theory, Bootylicious might become the audio equivalent of a camembert au calvados.

Indeed...
"For those of you that are seeking new taste sensations, you will be amazed."...

Who knows what the future may bring. After enough time passes even the stinkiest of cheese may become foie gras ...in theory.*

Remember, Ms. Burnett said "Comedy is tragedy plus time." ...and when I was twelve my friends and I would say, "Dommage fromage."
* Hat tip to darktremor for the In-Grid awareness.

We can only hope the generealization holds true.
(crosses fingers )

Because I am not that well versed with classics. Maybe you could suggest some...

Classics by definition aren't cheesy. Still, cheese tastes good.

Sam Cooke - "You Send Me"
Stevie Wonder - "I Just Called to Say I Love You"
Diana Krall - "I Can't Give You Anything But Love"

By the way, you misspelled the Nelly song, but I don't know, that might be your way of protesting.

I kindof actaully liked the Stevie Wonder one...maybe not so cheesy...

Indeed, I hate spelling mistakes in any sort of songs, more so cheesy ones...:-S

No Crazy Frog?

And up it goes!

Uh oh. The Frog is back, this time ripping off Popcorn by Boomtang Boys.

Thank you for reminding me of Jimmy Ray... that guy was so craptacular that he still defies my imagination fifteen years or so after having come and gone...

The song is SO cheesy that it makes me want to puke and go to the shitpot everytime I hear it.

Where's O-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei?

Never quite heard of it... maybe you can send it via www.yousendit.com?

Ah - any file-sharing software will have this track, it's one of the most popular "not really house" songs of all time.

Makes me wonder... why are all cheesy songs popular?

Can't answer that one......but Dragostei Din Tei was actually a huge European hit, I'm sure you've probably already heard it but tbh I wouldn't be surprised if you've had to be brainwashed just to get the damn thing out of your head....lol it really is one of those songs... I f*ckin hate it. Honestly, it's cheese in a packet.(if u really haven't actually heard it, you're a lucky guy)

Now I have to get this song. My curiosity kills my luck.

Lol.... you have been warned!!

Ah, I was completely addicted to this song back in the summer of '04 -- it's so catchy it's unbearable!

Edit: Merlin, I have a copy, if you want me to send it to you via Yousendit or otherwise.

Please... for the love of God....LET HIM LIVE!!!

Aah, so happens my sister had hidden this song under To Be Used Under Dire Situations For Torture folder. It's bad, I agree but at the same time not really cheesy... just an awful recording that sounds like chicken being mercilessly beaten up by a sexually frustrated maniac who refused to agree that he is a man. Duh, it's like that-sucked-next category. Forgettable.

Haha, I actually like that track. It's just so insanely silly and pointless. I'll admit it, it's not a good track, but I like it. Then again, it could just be that it has analog synths in it, or that (shouldn't be) hilarious internet video with the fat kid singing it. Or the fact that in high school the wiggers used to think it was the best song ever written and their "hardcore" dances to it.

Wait, really, the recording quality? The version I have is really crisp and well-produced.

That would be nice, since nobody who has it on soulseek is ever online. Thanks!!

tA, thanks for the concern :-D. It only makes me more curious

Hey, I leave soulseek on all the time.

Ah... well, I am offline now for most of the time (as is clearly visible from my inactivity on Listology for a while now)... Med School hardly gives any spare time. Thanks anyways =)

Congratulations! That's awesome!

That was a very clever strategy you devised.

It worked. I think. :)
Aand it's always great to hear from old.. shall we say comrades?

Yes, congratulations!

=)

"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"? Aww, c'mon, I think that's one of the Beatles' best songs...

It sticks and sticks and sticks in my head. And it just panders to the masses. Add a total lack of innovation plus a tried and tested fomula for a cheesy pop song, and you have Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.
This is a personal list though.. I don't say that "BEATLES SUCK AND ANYONE WHO LIKES THEM IS A MORON", or, "BEATLES RULE! SCARUFFI IS A BOZO!". I just don't like this song much.

I realize there's too much of this stuff to update this list consistantly, but there's one song that really needs to be on there:

MIMS - This Is Why I'm Hot

Christ, has rap really come to this? I remember when rap used to be political, or at the very least clever, but give me a break here:

I'm hot cuz I'm fly/you ain't cuz you not

It would be nice if those lyrics were delivered with any hint of irony whatsoever.

From what ive read you defiantly consider allot more music to be cheesy than I, you base it off lots of different types of lyrical ideas and genres. Im not saying thats wrong, theres no way to decide how far you can go or not but i disagree with a couple and how come Fergie and whats her bands name called...Black eyed peas arnt on there? Hands down they should b #1-5.

There's just one reason why the Balck Eyed Peas and Fergie are not on this list : forgetfulness. I'll add them now. Thanks for the reminder. I've stopped actively maintaining this list but if someone posts I do check out the suggestions.

THe only criteria for this list is umm.. how cheesy the song is. Nothing else.

How about Smily.DK?

"Butterfly" got lots of attention due to the fact that it trampled DDR fans attention spans worldwide. I have a friend that's still head over heels inlove with that song... he takes DDR quite seriously...

Side Note: There's a "Pikachu Remix" to that song. Oh dear...

But if you want to get SUPER SUPER cheesy... Smile.DK's "Boys" takes the cake, eats it, licks the frosting and pukes it all over the walls. Of course this could all just be personal opinion...

Oh... and cheesy Eurodance lyrics...

The Real McCoy's "One More Time"

And another winner STRONGLY recommended by me:

Lucas Prata and Reina's "Love of my Life"

Smile.dk, definitely. Blame DDR for the destruction of trance music. Thanks!

- Katrina and the Waves "Walking on Sunshine"
- Wham! "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go"
- Color Me Badd "All 4 Love"
- Hampton the Hampster "The Hampster Dance"

"All songs that go like dum-deeh-dah-oo-uh-yeah-cmon now-tralalalala-aaaooow-aa are cheesy."

LMAO!