Warning Labels

user warning: Table './listology/profile_values' is marked as crashed and should be repaired query: SELECT f.name, f.type, v.value FROM profile_fields f INNER JOIN profile_values v ON f.fid = v.fid WHERE uid = 97377 in /usr/local/apache2/htdocs/listology.com/modules/profile/profile.module on line 229.
  • "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
  • "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
  • "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
  • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
  • "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
  • "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
  • "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
  • "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
  • "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
  • "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
  • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
  • "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
  • "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
  • "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.
  • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
  • "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
  • "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
  • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
  • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
  • "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
  • "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
  • "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
  • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
  • "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
  • "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
  • "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
  • "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
  • "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
  • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
  • "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
  • "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
  • "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
  • "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
  • "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
  • "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
  • "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
  • "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
  • "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
  • "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
  • "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
  • "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
  • "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
  • "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
  • "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
  • "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
  • "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
  • "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
  • "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
  • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
  • "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
  • "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
  • "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
  • "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
  • "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
  • "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
  • "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
  • "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
  • "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
  • "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
  • "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
  • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
  • "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
  • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
  • "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
  • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
  • "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
  • "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
  • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
  • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
  • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
  • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
  • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
  • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
  • "Please remove before driving." -- On the back of a cardboard windshield (for keeping the car from getting too hot when parked).
  • "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
  • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
  • "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
  • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
  • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
  • "Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.
  • "Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
  • "Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
  • "Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
  • "For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
Author Comments: 

When people sue or threaten to sue, companies have to put some of the dumbest warning labels on their products or commercials. Here a lot of dumb ones.

Speaking of being sued, this list was shamelessly stolen from www.rinkworks.com, for the enjoyment of listologists.

Funny list,I think I wet myself.

"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." Huwahhh?

More or less a byproduct of our sue-happy society. "It didn't say I couldn't put it in my eyes; how was I supposed to know it would hurt?"

True that, yo.