Things I Believe That Might Someday Land Me In The Nuthouse, And A Few That Won't
Submitted by grandpa_chum on Wed, 07/20/2005 - 02:20
- That peanut butter(yes primarily the processed skippy/jif type) is the closest thing to a cure all there is... I have fixed these symptoms with a spoonful of peanut butter... headaches/heartburn/upset stomach/diarreah/sore throat/dry mouth/strepp throat/congested sinus'/toothache/I even dodged a breathalizer test once(it was purely a test, one of my parents friends is a cop and let us try it out)
- That there must be something in the peanut butter
- That if god existed, he'd drink moxie
- That the dead could someday walk the earth, and might even eat our flesh
- That the only enemy I would go to war to defeat is the insurance companies
- That by far the two worst days of my life were the only two days I spent in Canada
- That those who call themsleves christians are for the most part farthest from practicing the teachings of christ and should shut up
- That God is most likely Santa Claus for grownups
- That everything poor people are thrown in jail for is legal for rich people because they make the laws
- That life is a pastime(and nothing else)
- That using the law as a moral system of values is the only crime worthy of execution
- That nothing is sacred, except hard work
- That if I had the ability to rip people off, in most cases I would, guilt-free
- That most people worth ripping off, deserve it
- That no one is entitled to anything, except death
- That the only thing anyone can make you do is die
- That feminists want to be the man
- That blacks want to be the race in power
- That children want to be the grownups
- That the poor want to be the rich ones
- That I can't blame feminists, blacks, children, or the poor for wanting that, but wish they would cut the shit and just admit they don't really want equality, but they'll settle for it.
- That hitmen don't do anything wrong, they simply do the dirty work that is inevitable, not in the way that death itself is inevitable, but simply because anyone who would pay large amounts of money to have someone killed will one way or another get the deed done and not give up simply because a hitman turns him down for moral reasons. Basically what I'm saying(and I may be a hypocrit here because I'm not sure I believe it to be true in any other cases) is that no matter the outcome of the transaction or the what action it caused, if you are at the bottom of the business ladder you're not morally responsible for the action, cause it'd happen with or without you.
- That sports is the only thing keeping the majority of us from killing each other
- That right and wrong, good and evil, are 100% and completely arbitrary
- That Pete Rose should not only be in the hall of fame, but respected for being the greatest baseball player of all time(as I believe), or at least considered ONE of the best, despite what people will tell you other 'sports greats' have done alot worse and *gasp* actually hurt people in the process, something Pete Rose didn't do.
- That Dan Marino should be considered the best football player of all time even though he never won the big one, if not for his astonishing ability than at least for breaking records and almost winning super bowls without ever having a half-decent offensive line, running back, nor wide reciever and doing it all while wearing number 13... what else do you people need?!
- That(from my post below) no matter how you personally practice it, saying christianity isn't about rules or legalism is like saying sex isn't about reproduction... you may not look at it that way, but at it's core, thats it's purpose.
- That if God exists,(to quote Steiner from Cross Of Iron and whatever book it was based on) he's got to be "a sadist, and he probably doesn't even know it"
pointless ranting, coupled with crazy prophesizing, paranoia, and very little useful information.