Movies That Needed To Be On MST3K

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Tags: 
  • Starship Troops
  • Mars Attacks
  • Battlefield Earth
  • The Specialist
  • Plan 9 From Outer Space
  • The Principal
  • Freejack
  • Batman & Robin
  • Jade
  • Farewell, My Lovely (Mitchum)
  • The Avengers
  • Alien: Resurrection
  • On Deadly Ground
  • Dungeons and Dragons
  • Super Mario Brothers
  • Judge Dredd

The horror! Thank you for resurrecting these painful memories, so I could add a couple of them to my list. I had the good judgment to stop watching Judge Dredd before seeing the whole thing. I didn't hate Batman & Robin or Mars Attacks. In between laughing at the mistakes, I found Plan 9 to be mostly just boring.

Maybe I am being too harsh on Mars Attacks, but Batman and Robin was a dog turd of a movie. Cheesiest dialogue, especially from Schwarzeneggar as Dr. Chill, or whatever his name was. I know, it's like the old Adam West days when villians got of cheesy jokes alluding to there special brand of evil. But don't over do it. I'm not sure I totally loved the Adam West version of Batman, but at least it was pretty humorous. I know it's hard enough to make a bad film, let alone a good film. So I am not going to condemn the director or screenwriter. I just wish people would stop thinking of Arnold as a first-rate comedian. When he has adorable but sensitive kids around him and ferrets to play with, or when it's a more sentimental comedy with good actors like Danny DeVito and/or Emma Thompson, then he works with a comedy. Kindergarten Cop worked because it was part detective movie/part sentimental comedy that really kind of deconstructed Arnold's total image as an action star, and that's why I think it worked. I like Arnold, besides his politics which at least seem more progressive than some in higher places than himself. It's a little annoying that he won on campaing speeches that were mostly tongue-in-cheek reminders of the movies that he made. And I love LL Cool J saying that Arnold's win was a show that anyone can be part of in civic problems and be a political leader to make a difference. LL's a nice, positive guy, but when you are a hugely successful veteran action movie star, part-owner of a international movie-themed restaurant, and part-time humvee test driver sitting on millions (perhaps billions?) of dollars and running for an office in the State of La La Land and Orange County and Ronald Reagan as governor at one time, I don't think there are really that many odds stacked against you. But Arnold is still awesome in his action roles.

I dunno, I think MST3K mostly dealt with completely incompetant, low-budget films. I didn't like Starship Troopers or Jurassic Park 2, but they weren't horrible on every level like the MST3K movies. I'd have to nominate 'You Got Served' or 'Winter Break'.

I think it helps if the rights are cheap, too.

Yes, that was critical with the original show.

True, I never thought of the rights. Yeah Jurassic Park 2 wasn't horrible, just not as good as the first. Starship Troopers I was very disappointed with. The only actor I liked in it was Michael Ironside as the Sergeant. Denise Richards is hot, but she was wrong for the role. But it wasn't horrible. Some cool action scenes.

I didn't catch this when I saw it, but was later told that The Verhovinator purposely chose dull, bland white actors to play the leads because in his sci-fi future 'designer babies' were everywhere - so that's why everyone looked pretty much the same and quite boring and beautiful, and also why there were co-ed showers (there was nothing unusual worth hiding or displaying because everyone was the same).

Yeah the co-ed shower scene was awkward. I mean you got all these army guys there, full of machismo and testosterone because they've spent all day in training. None of them seemed "enhanced" by the fact that naked women were showering around them. I mean, i know it's a primitive point I am making. Maybe in a hundred years, male and female nudity won't be a taboo thing, but people will still be stimulated. And Neil Patrick Harris looked like a Gestapo Officer with his outfit.

I guess you are right. But Mars Attack was pretty bad on all levels, I thought. Not a real laugh in the whole movie, from me anyway. I have a grudge against Starship Trooper because I wanted to see it like the book, not Paul Verhoven's wet dream in outer space.

I guess you are right ultimately. For MST3K to bash a movie, it pretty much had to be bad on all levels. Maybe some of these movies on the list aren't really appropriate then.