Movies I Love To Hate: So Bad It's Hilarious!
Submitted by grandpa_chum on Sat, 10/23/2004 - 03:13
- Roller Boogie Mark Lester 1979: The funniest completely serious movie I've ever seen... this is the only movie on this list I highly reccomend seeing... you won't regret it, it's that funny to see what people made in the 70's... it's ROCKET!!!(enter black guy in orange jumpsuit, oversized sunglasses, and poneytail)
- Anything Done By Robert Rodriguez Robert Rodriguez beginning of time-Present: The guy is just horrible and it's really only funny because so many people love him so much.
- Plan 9 From Outer Space Ed Wood 1959: This guy had to try and make this movie this bad... it's just so... BAD
- Flash Gordon Mike Hodges 1980: Ok the original may have had a unique feel with the crappy special effects, but these were worse and that coupled with a simply terrible look to everything... maybe this just wasn't meant to be in color.
- All Smokey And The Bandit Sequals Anyone Anytime: Don't get me wrong I like the first one a lot... but the story can only be stretched so far... i mean if the original had been much longer than 90 minutes i don't think i could have liked it... not to mention 2 whole other movies. It is amusing what kind of trouble they seem to cook up for these dry sequals.
- Delta Heat Michael Fischa 1992: Anthony edwards headlines a B-cop drama trying too hard to be funny in the bayou of louisiana... should be seen simply for the worst trailer ever made(makes it look like a naked gun sequel when its pretty serious) and the horrible make up done on the guy that lived threw an explosion but was burnt horribly... its a funny sight.
- Purple Rain Albert Magnoli 1984: Prince playing... well basically prince... and even though he's probably the worst actor of all-time, they somehow managed to surround him with even worse actors... This movie is funny as hell... terrible story... and what is not funny about prince in general... it's almost like he's trying to be comical in everything he does... his dress, his tone of voice, his pouting, his angry meanie face shows up often... it's just terribly funny.
- True Romance Tony Scott 1993: Hard to explain, expected it to hit somewhere on my top films list, but didn't even come close to making the cut... hyped up and one collosal let down, what a shit movie! This is the only film on this list that i can't recomend even seeing just for a good laugh or a lesson in awfulness... this has absolutely no value to it. It doesn't even really fit on this list, but i didn't know where else to put it and it definitly needs to be said.
- Maverick Richard Donner 1994: Now I've never seen the original tv show or anything... but this movie is horrible... how richard donner made this movie so laughably bad is beyond me... maybe he's never seen a western before... just heard about em... even as a western parody this is terrible... nothing is funny except how poorly done it is... and the acting is some of the worst i've seen by two people who are at least pretty good acters... foster is just plain stupid and gibson is ridiculous... its just garbage all the way around.
- Blade Stephen Norrington 1998: Terrible acting, even though i usually like Snipes, this is some of the worst acting i've ever seen... not to mention the story sucks and the action is weak and overdone... not that vampire slaying movies are generally any good in the first place, but this is pretty bad... i love listening to snipes deliver the lines though, they sound so stupid and he does them like he's reading them off the back of a cereal box or something... quite ridiculous.
- Rebirth Of Mothra II Kuniyo Miyoshi 1997: First of all the monster that mothra is fighting genuinely looks amazing, still funny, but much better than the cgi'd godzilla that came out not too long after(or was it before i don't remember). Ok, let me try and explain why me and my friends laughed at this movie more than we've ever laughed before, neither of the monster's ever die, even after being blown up, hit with starfish filled water tornadoes, humped against a pyramid that rises out of the ocean, attacked with numerous shoulder missiles and eye lazers, tackled into the depths of the ocean in a high speed flying chase and yes, they even fly head on and explode into a fiery explosion at one point, only for both of them to recover within seconds and continue fighting. From there three things are incredibly funny, first no matter what is involved, be it rock, water, sand, salt, monster, children, or feces, if it collides with ANYTHING there is a huge fiery explosion, in fact there are a few dozen fiery explosions that involve no explosive material, nor any lazers of any kind. Just stuff like rocks falling into the ocean equals a fiery explosion. Secondly the dialogue is campy and ridiculous, and the dubbing is really bad, in fact their are three fairies who do this lesbian looking dance, song, chant, thing while mounted onto a mini mothra, and they have healing powers, it's quite funny. The third and possibly funniest moment of all time involves this furball, which apparantly is the key to the whole story, so much so in fact that the rest of the plot is deemed unnecessary by its awesome power. Basically the two bad guys, turned good are helping the children escape an indiana jones esque temple of doom, with booby traps and all. They are running and they come to a crevice about 5 feet wide... the children hop it no problem, and one of campy incompetent bad guys turned good(the fat one) jumps it reluctantly, barely making it. His skinny friend(the brains of the operation), who has also turned good, refuses to jump, standing at the edge about to cry when all of a sudden a rock falls from the ceiling, no a boulder, and i actually expected it to hit him on the head and kill him, but in reality it catapults him accross the crevice, thats the good news, bad news is the fall killed him... so what happens next is the funniest shit these eyes have ever seen(aside from lavar burton on the 'essence of cool' documentary)... Possibly the funniest 'with friends, preferebly drunk' movies i have ever seen, every second was a hoot. Oh i forgot to mention how hilariously mothra defeats the other monster since the other monster is untouchable when deep under the see(moths can't swim)...Spoiler: Highlight to viewThe fury thing starts to piss on his face, and this special gold piss glistening in the sun, brings him back to life, completely reenergized, in fact it cuts straight from him being pissed on to him running, six million dollar man style, completely without a scratch, all majestic like.Spoiler: Highlight to viewwell mothra suddenly changes into aquamothra(with the help of the furball) swims down deep, splits into about 50 minimothras, they all swim into the monsters mouth, and blow him up from the inside out, resulting in mothra flying out of the water along with a fiery explosion and body parts from the other monster... good stuff.
- Tremors I never thought I would say this, but this movie rivals Rebirth Of Mothra II in the category of schlocky goodness... I laughed so hard at this one it's almost ridiculous that I keep doing this, getting sucked into a terrible movie by some funny mishap and get hooked into 2 hours of straight laughter. By far the worst english dialogue in an american-made movie. My favorite of which being "Who fucking died and made you einstein", but there is also the "pardon my french" that follows every god-damn swear this one character says, which put the count of hearing that line from the same character well over 10. Watching Kevin Bacon try to act in this movie is a fun activity in itself, not that he's bad, it's just all around funny as hell. At one point he's screaming "fuck you!" over and over again at a huge dead snake monster while thrusting his pelvis at its head in a demeaning manor. The sheer hick-ness of the two main male characters, the idiocy of the rest of the town folk, and the humble genius of the town scientist(a young female who only half believes she knows what she's talking about) who at one point pulls out richter scale readings from earlier in the day from her backpack in the middle of the desert to determine how man more of these monsters there could be when she clearly left the office long before she even had an inkling there was a problem of this magnitude. Another classic gut busting moment comes when a snake monster spits back some home made dynamite 20 yards and about 200 feet into the air with pinpoint accuracy right into a bag full of what the gang has left of unused dynamite, sending the whole bag up. Aside from all this, and even Victor Wong(the grandpa from the 3 ninjas movies), my favorite part, and by far the funniest, has to be the Mindy incident. Not long after the whole town(about 8 people) find out what is going on they are all stuck in the local country store. A few times they have to get a few stray people from outside back in without making too much noise and eventually they figure out if they don't move and make any sound on the ground the snake monsters will just leave them alone. So the ground starts rumbling under the store and it looks like they may be doomed, but they all stand completely still and hope the monsters will go away. The tension grabs ahold of you, I was actually impressed at how well the tension was created. All of a sudden we hear squeeedeet...squeeedeet...squeeedeet, oh my goodness it's little mindy on a pogo stick going down mainstreet, her pony tail flapping in the wind and she's even got headphones on listening to music, so when all the townspeople scream at her to save her life, she can't hear them. I honestly could not believe what I was seeing, A POGO STICK! and not only had she not managed to get herself eaten yet, but she goes bouncing down mainstreet during the height of the tension with headphones on nonetheless. Great stuff, funny movie, highly recomended for anyone who loves to laugh at kevin bacon and sci fi catastrophies.
- Sin City Robert Rodriguez 2005: I have to digest this one a bit more before I do a full review, but let me say this; no matter how much a Rodriguez movie is hyped, and no matter how good it looks, even if God himself speaks to me and tells me it's worth seeing... I WILL NEVER GET EXCITED OR EVEN PAY TO SEE ANOTHER ROBERT RODRIGUEZ FILM. I got my hopes up about this one because of all the hype, and thought maybe RR could turn the crapfest around. Huge letdown... more to come on what I actually hated about it, and why it was quite fun to watch because of it. If it weren't for making fun of this film in the presence of a few self-proclaimed 'Rodriguez Fans'(yeah such a thing exists) than renting this would have been by far the biggest waste of 3 dollars in my life... and I once got 3 dollars worth of hot dogs at a gas station only to find out down the road they were moldy and threw them out.
With the exception of Roller boogie this is not a "it's so bad it's good" list... this is simply a "worst films of all time" list that just happens to have one movie that is so bad it's good on it. Spread the word, see roller boogie!