Give me my two hours back, you thief
- Independence Day - even if this movie hadn't been such an uninspiring piece of work, it was directly responsible for Will Smith having the cachet to do Wild Wild West. And for that, it should die.
- Twister - No, Jamie Buckman, noooooooo!
- The Postman - I've changed my mind on this one. At first I thought it simply wasn't that bad, perhaps because I have a defective Waterworld gene. But since then I've thought about it, and really, I want two hours of the time I spent on it back, leaving a nice, compact eight-hour movie to watch.
- That one movie where David Spade was the fussbudget sarcastic guy and Chris Farley was the clumsy idiot with a heart of gold
- (Repeat above line until you have covered all David Spade/Chris Farley buddy movies, even though I've only seen one of them and couldn't remember the title if you paid me. I just have a hunch.)
- (Oh, don't forget Adam Sandler.)
- (And I had a feeling about Tim Meadows back when I created this list in December 1999. Was I right or was I right?)
- Barb Wire - Don't call Pamela Anderson Lee "babe". Don't call her "actress" either. It could be worse, I guess... if they'd waited an extra year or two before giving Pam her own movie, we'd never get the stench of Lady Death: The Movie out of our souls.
There are some movies that must be seen on the very first day they hit the theater. There are some movies that you must see on a bored Tuesday afternoon when the matinee price is a mere four dollars. There are some movies that you rent on video once they're out of the extortionary five-bucks-a-minute rental rack at Blockbuster, and there are some that you rent at one of those super-discount video stores where you pay eight cents and get the movie for twenty-six years.
These movies are none of the above.