Fun Quotes Taken Completely Out of Context

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  • "It's like steak. It is terrific, but if you eat it every night, you get sick of it. And it's the same way with the women and the midgets."
Author Comments: 

I'll add to this when I hear new ones.

Brownie points if you can guess the context!

Let's see...

Being the 15th caller to the Launch Radio Station contest, you won a free boat ride of the exotic islands of the Gulf of Tulsa. You called in sick from work in order to partake in what was supposed to be a three-hour tour. Also joining you on your boat trip was Tulsa's new NBA team, the Tulsa Turtles (who had a game against the inhabitants of the unchartered Tulsan island of Guar'atu) as well as Uma Thurman. But the weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed, and you ended up on the island of Q'doba, which everyone knows is inhabited by cannibals. Everyone was immediately captured by the Q'doban cannibals. However, the Q'dobans had just finished the Q'doban holiday of Passunder, in which, to commemorate when Q'doba was freed from the oppressive Egyptian pharaoh who enslaved them, the Q'dobans must eat nothing but women and midgets for eight days. Additionally, with you looking rather short compared to the eight-foot-tall Tulsa Turtles, they thought you were a midget. The cannibal Board of Directors, quite sick of eating women and midgets, debated whether to free any of the prisoners. Finally, one cannibal offered the above quote, ending the debate, and they decided to free you and Uma and eat the basketball players. You and Uma soon found a spare canoe, and using a dead palm tree as an oar, you two sailed off into the sunset.

Just when I think I have one nobody will guess...

Although that sounds suspiciously like bribing the judge with a little wish fulfillment. Mind you, I'm not saying that won't work. ;)

Shalom, y'all!

L. Bangs

Ha! I have nothing else to add...

Johnny Waco