Forums: "You Know You're A New Yorker When...: - From the New York Times

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  1. ...you're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.
  2. ...you ride in a subway car with no air conditioning, just because there are seats available. You and the other three passengers look at each other and know you have pure grit.
  3. ... you are going home from work by subway and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the stairways at your home station.
  4. ...you refuse to eat any pizza slice that can't be folded in half so that you can eat it while you walk.
  5. ...you cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas
  6. ...paying 7 dollars for cigarettes will eventually seem reasonable.
  7. ...you get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road (speed limit, turn signals, etc)
  8. ...someone passes out on the train you mistakenly think he is dead and think, "Why does he have to die on MY train because this is going to make me late for my appointment."
  9. ...you cross the street anywhere but in the corners, yelling at the cars for not respecting the fact.
  10. ...you move 8,000 miles away...spend 10 years learning the local language and yet when you open your mouth to speak people still say, "you're from brooklyn aren't you?"
  11. ...you have the guts to claim you know what makes a New Yorker in a public forum even though you've only lived in New York for 2 years.
  12. ...you return after 10 or more years living outside NYC, and the first food you want are real pizza and White Castle sliders.
  13. ...you start thinking that a 500 square foot apartment is large.
  14. ...your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot house in the suburbs that was the same price as your 500 square foot apartment that you commute 35 minutes by subway to...And you think: "sucker"
  15. ...you know the differences between the various Ray's Pizza establishments
  16. ...you see Harrison Ford walking down the street and nobody seemed to care to look at him.
  17. ...you know who Dr. Z is... (inside joke...us NYCers get it)
  18. ...you have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which you have neither ordered from nor even heard of.
  19. ...you long for Manhattan's pre-Giuliani openness, even if it meant crack smokers in the subway and the homeless peeing in the hallway.
  20. ...you are in another city and stop by what appears to be a "deli" and ask for an Italian hero with the works. They look at you funny--you walk out angry...and hungry.
  21. ...you know that the off the shelf insecticides work as laughing gas to the super resistant cockroaches in your building.
  22. ...you get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the 4 major food groups: Chinese, Mexican, Cuban or Indian.
  23. ...you wouldn't dream of going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
  24. ...you ask someone, can you tell me what time is it or should I just go *&%# myself!!
  25. ...your internal clock and daily calendar are permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are suspended or in effect.
  26. ...you know what a bodega is.
  27. ...you lose patience with those who say St. Louis is a world class city.
  28. ...you freak out because a stranger says hello.
  29. ...you learn how to fold the New York Times in-half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.
  30. ...you think people from Joy-zee talk funny.
  31. ...someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.
  32. ...you pay no attention to the nice lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with herself.
  33. ...you pay "only" $230 a month to park the car.
  34. ...you cross the street, almost get hit by a bicycle, and instead of being worried, curse the bicyclist.
  35. ...you watch the show "Sex and the City" as a documentary about the people you know.
  36. ...you visit friends out of town and you can't get to sleep because the quiet freaks you out.
  37. ...you remember Kung-Fu Saturday afternoons on pre-FOX Channel 5 and Abbott and Costello Sunday mornings on on pre-WB Channel 11.
  38. ...you remember Matt Lauer before he co-anchored the Today show.
  39. ...you think $1200 a month for a small studio is a steal!
  40. ...you are willing to pay a 18% broker's fee just to get ahead of the competition...and all he did was unlock the door.
  41. ...having a window in your apartment is considered a luxury and not a necessity.
  42. ...you are willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.
  43. ...your dog is bigger than your living room.
  44. ...your reaction to a presidential visit isn't "oh boy, what an honor" but "oh no, what a pain traffic is going to be."
  45. ...the mere thought of a blueberry or chocloate chip bagel is an insult.
  46. ...the names Crazy Eddie, Tom Carvel and Joe Franklin bring a smile to your face.
  47. ...when as the announcemnet comes on the PA on the subway platform you turn your head, cock your ear, and when it's over you walk to the stairs to a chorus of, "Wait! Wait! What did she say??!"
  48. ...you're annoyed, instead of excited, that they're making a movie on your block.
  49. ...you can take a catnap on the subway and wake up when your stop is announced.
  50. you looked forward to riding the subway to read the next installment of Marisol and Julio.
  51. ...the deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it is beer.
  52. ...you understand that the plural form of you is youse.
  53. ...you cheerfully make left turns from the right-hand lane and give old ladies the finger as they cut you off in traffic, but would NEVER make a right turn on a red light.
  54. ...you know that if a parking space looks too good to be true, it is.
  55. ...you're making $70,000 and you're "scraping" by.
  56. ...you find yourself fantasizing about apartments listed on the Douglas Elliman website.
  57. ...Nothing is north or south, it's uptown or downtown.
  58. ...almost everyone you know has a story about how they finally got home after the WTC fell.
  59. ...you take harsh criticism of the city by a non-New Yorker as a personal insult, but readily accept and often agree with the same criticism coming from a fellow New Yorker.
  60. ...you can read all the posts here, and find yourself nodding with understanding and agreement (to most of them)...
Author Comments: 

Selected entries from the Forums section in the New York Times Online. You can read them for yourself here

OMG...so true!! I lived there for over 9 years. #3 is right on the money... "Thanks, Dr. ZIZMORE!!" And I totally remember Marisol and Julio!! Holy crap, this list is making me HOMESICK!!!! God bless ya, man!

Obviously written by a non-New Yorker, it is stymied by lack of character. I would place this writer in the Midwest or South Carolina. This entire generalization offends me as a New Yorker. We've got some personality here, which the writer of this obviously lacks. Stop trying to be clever and gain enough character to BE clever. It's just boring, sorority-memory book writing that annoys me. So cheesy and trite. Yuck.

Actually, It's confusing if he/she IS a NY'er because you'd have to be living there for at least 20 years to remember "The Big Apple Movie" which was the kung-fu movies I'd watch on Channel 5 at 1pm. Back then it was just known as WNYW. Then again though, he/she called it a White Castle "slider". I never in my LIFE called it a slider. THEY don't even call it sliders. (crazy part is, I don't think I EVER ate White Castle while being sober, and before 2 am). I just don't agree with us being so mean to people. If someone asked me or anyone else the time, NOBODY would tell you to go f**k yourself because being that you ARE in NYC, whoever you told that to would most probably slap you across your face. I actually think that NYers are usually beyond helpful to tourists. Also, I never can tell anyone from Jersey by their accent, I think some sound like us. Overall, I agree with like 80% of the stuff. (after living in NYC for 29 years, I just moved to Vegas and I will say this, list or no list, there is NO city like NYC.