Submitted by jim on Tue, 02/20/2001 - 09:16
- Alien III (1992) and IV (1997) ... Might have to give these another chance, but I really felt cheated leaving the theater.
- Ben Hur (1959) ... A blasphemous entry, I know. A huge, sweeping movie; epic in every sense. The chariot race didn't disappoint. But the film can't redeem Heston's awful performance, which flipped between wooden and histrionic without hitting anything in between. Worth watching once - after all, it's Ben Hur, fer cryin' out loud.
- Fallen (1998) ... Didn't live up to any number of SF stories using the same theme.
- Heat (1995) ... See below.
- Independance Day (1996) ... My expectations weren't very high, so I guess this technically wasn't very disappointing, but it was still a letdown.
- Jackie Brown (1997) ... See below
- Johnny Mnemonic (1995) ... "Johnny Moronic". Didn't know Dolph Lundgren was in it until the opening credits. The man has never even seen a good movie.
- The Lost World (1997) ... After Jurassic Park I really wished for more dinosaurs. Should have known more dinosaurs would lessen their impact. The few scenes that started out gripping dragged on for far too long.
- The Man Who Wasn't There (2001) ... This movie absolutely rocketed to the bottom of my Coen Bros. list. A dull and heartless excercise in noir-bending, which I imagine has great appeal for folks that like to "get it" (which is cool if you're into that - I loved Shakespeare in Love, after all), but the movie doesn't have anything else to offer beyond beautiful cinematography and some good performances. It can't commit to comedy or tragedy, and it fails at both.
- Magnolia (1999) ... See below.
- Mission to Mars (2000) ... Boring and unengaging.
- Mouse Hunt (1997) ... Watch the preview, skip the movie.
- Photographing Fairies (1997) ... Our hero was wholly unsympathetic, and the ending was wholly unsatisfactory
- Pi (1998) ... See below
- Planet of the Apes (2001) ... See my review.
- Red Planet (2000) ... See my review.
- Ronin (1998) ... See below
- The Score (2001) ... Norton. DeNiro. Brando (who I don't happen to like, but what the heck, he's a legend). Such an assemblage, such a disappointment. Almost added this to my "Bombs" series, but it wasn't quite bad enough. While the performances are fine (Norton was the standout, while Brando was surprisingly acceptable), the movie is excruciatingly dull. Angela Basset is wasted in a throwaway subplot. The Score itself, when it finally comes, is merely good. It needed to be absolutely fantabulous to redeem the rest. It wasn't.
- The Sixth Day (2000) ... Disappointing because I heard this was Arnie's return to form after too many missteps. Just awful. And his performance was abysmal. Made me question my memory of finding him at least personable as an actor.
- The Spanish Prisoner (1997) ... See below
- Swimming With Sharks (1994) ... I'm sure in part my disappointment was due to this movie being described as "hilarious." It's far too mean-spirited for that adjective. Spacey was good, as usual, but any points the movie gained on that front were lost during the bizarro ending.
- The World is not Enough (1999) ... "The Franchise is not Enough." Possibily the worst Bond movie ever (although I'd probably have to give The Man With the Golden Gun the title).
I can't believe how many DeNiro movies are on this list. And I like DeNiro. Ah well.
I have ranked this list from worst to best (such as it is). The ranking is a subjective blend of my disappointment factor and the overall quality of the movie.