I Work At The Tim Horton
I Work At The Tim Horton: A work in progess ;). It looks boring now, but it's gonna get into the meat soon, I swear XDAs you know from my "Strange Facts About Me" list, I work at Tim Hortons, which is a North American chain specializing in coffee, donuts, bagels, and that sort of thing. This article will be all about that....I hope it's entertaining for you all, I have quite a few stories to share ;).
How a Timmy Hoes works. You gotta know this in some situations. Here's a few facts:
-Coffee is supposed to be served within 20 minutes of being brewed. It usually isn't.
-There are three main shifts: Morning (6AM til 2 PM) After noon (2PM til 10PM) and Overnight (10PM til 6AM).
-We get one half hour break for working more than 6 hours, no break if we work less
-Breaks are unpaid
-We get free soda, coffee, hot chocolate, and cappuchinos. Everything else is at a 50% discount.
-There are two registers on counter and a drive-thru
-There are two coffee brewers per station (for a total of 6).
-Cream and sugar is measured automatically.
-Uniform: Brown pants, white shirt, nametag, brown visor, black shoes, belt.
-We use wireless headsets on DT (drive-thru.) It beeps and we press a button to take the order.
-Basic configuration of a headset is 5 buttons:
-Order taking button: Press to talk. Release to listen. You can also listen with it pressed, but why would you do that?
-Lock: Makes pressing the button to take the order unnecessary. The customer can hear everything you say and do.
-Volume down: These buttons control volume on DT. If the customer is too quiet or loud, adjust volume accordingly.
-Page: Used to talk to other employees wearing headsets so that the DT customer can't hear you.
-We have main functions throughout the day. This is your post, what you do. Those functions in the morning are:
-Counter #1 order taking & food getting
-Counter #1 beverages
-Counter #2 order taking and food getting
-Counter #2 beverages
-DT order taker
-DT runner (get donuts, muffins, and that kind of thing.)
-DT sandwich station
-Counter sandwich station
Since the afternoon shift has fewer people, the functions for them are:
-Counter (Everything. We usually have only one register open in the afternoons.)
-DT order taking and cashout
-DT coffee and runner
-Sandwich station (Counter and DT.)
-Baking (We always have one or two people on the morning shift who know how to do nothing but bake. You need to be more versatile in the afternoons.)
The overnight people have to do everything by themselves. There's usually three people who work the overnight
If a customer orders a bagel or sandwich on counter or DT, the person on that station makes it (e.g, if a customer on DT wants a bagel, the DT person makes it.)
-We have tasks called side jobs used in keeping the store clean. Some side jobs you do once in a day, some you must do continously throughout. Also, some are done only in the morning, when we have more staff. The main side jobs are:
-Bathrooms: Clean the bathrooms at the end of the day.
-Cap N Cooler: Fill the cappuchino machines and under-counter coolers (two of each)
-Diner N Dishes: Bus the diner, wash tables, and put dishes through the dishwasher.
-Floors: Sweep and mop all floors throughout the day.
-Garbages: Change all garbages throughout the day, and break down boxes and throw garbages into the dumpster at the end of the day.
-Sandwich Station: Clean the sandwich station and stock all meats, cheeses, cream cheeses, tomatoes, salads, lettuce, and the like throughout the day.
-Stock: Stock all cups, lids, sugars, creamers, and the like throughout the day.
In the morning, we have additional side jobs such as parking lot and cleaning the back of the house, and side jobs may be further divided (e.g, one person stocks things for counter and one person does it for drive-thru, two people on garbages, etc.)
The people I'll be talking about. An unfamiliar name can be found here in an instant. Every story I tell involving these people will be found on this list.
They know how to run everything, right? Well, not exactly. These two are real wild cards. Introducing...
Race: Middle Eastern Indian
Description: Muralee is an idiot. I'll give examples in my stories. He can be really happy one day and really pissed the next. So watch your step around him.
Desciption: I don't see much of Sahil, as he's the higher manager and therefore comes and goes as he pleases, but he's a few shades smarter than Muralee. He's a quiter happy than Muralee too-I've seen him upset on only one occasion (which is a good story.) He'll be rare in my editorials.
The bosses. When the managers leave at 3, one or two of these guys lays some punishment down on the slackers. Let's meet the crew, yes?
Age: Mid to late twenties
Description: In a word, Alaina is cool. She's pregnant, and therefore work isn't her first concern. A few of her one-liners are absolutely brilliant. Medium height, brown hair, blue eyes, rather skinny, married. A cool girl to work with.
Age: Early to mid twenties
Race: Half black, half Hispanic
Description: The Fire Princess. That's Angel summed up shortly. She has a temper like crazy, but when she's in a good mood she's one of my favourite supervisors. She loves to have fun. She's a little chubby, but not fat at all. Pleasantly plump, if you will. Wears too much makeup.
Description: I love Jen. We love the same type of music (extremely rare here in the States for trance lovers), and we have the same type of personality. If we ever break up with our significant others, half our coworkers probabl;y have us secretly pegged as a couple. She's tall, blonde, blue eyed, and rather cute as well. Very perky, but not annoyingly. And she STILL have my Politics Of Dancing 2 CD (which I need back, sweetie XD)
Race: Half black, half white.
Description: I'm something of a point of fascination to Karen. She is forever going on about how good I make the donuts look, how delicious my breakfast sandwiches are, and other related things. She also lets me hand out side jobs and count drawers. This makes her cool.
Age: Mid to late twenties
Description: OCD. That's Laura. She's a neat freak. But despite that, she's extremely cool and fun to work with (not many people I know can pull that off!) Red hair, brown eyes, about my height (six feet) and married.
Age: Early to mid twenties
Description: Rajh is too serious. He doesn't stand around, doesn't talk, nothing. He just works straight through and gives orders.
But he's still pretty cool. Gotta impress his man Muralee I suppose XD
Description: You cannot go wrong with Srdjan. You CANNOT. He is the coolest, best supervisor, ever. He always finds ways to give extra breaks. And he taught me how to do drawers. Tall, lanky, brown hair and eyes like all the rest of the Serbians. Talks with an accent like almost all the rest of the Serbians.
Us. We are the people. OUR WILL BE DONE. XD
Here I'll just give names, there's wayyyy to many people who work there for me to go on describing everyone.
-Dave (John's cousin)
-Jovica (Suzana's brother)
-White Nick (This is me, White Nick. The other Nick is Black Nick. And before you get a rascist view of me- this is how everyone refers to us as. We even refer to each other as Black Nick and White Nick. We don't care. Why should you?
-Beth (My sister)
-Probably a bunch of other people I'm forgetting
Okay. I've pandered around long enough. You want stories? You'll get them. These are in no particular order, chronological or other. I just add them as I remember. So we'll begin.
STORY 1......"I'M NOT BLAMING ANYBODY"
In the summer, we had a ton of new people (including me.) On a day that Sahil was managing a morning shift, he called half the staff into the back and talked to them about something. Not until he called the half I was a part of did I know what he was saying...
"Okay, we have a lot of new people, and because we have a lot of new people, customers have been coming back very often with the wrong order. We cannot give them the wrong order, because the wrong order is not the right order, which makes the customer upset. We all need to start payinf more attention. I just want you all to know that I'm not blaming anybody, I'm blaming everybody."
o_o. Yeah. That makes us all totally blamelss....I guess...
STORY 2...."MOVE YOUR SPEED"
I wasn't there when this happened. Joe and Hakeem were on morning sandwich station. Now, to be on morning sandwiches, you gotta be swift. Hakeem is. Joe...well, Joe is not. Joe was on the counter, and a lot of customers were complaining to Muralee cuz they were waiting so long for their sandwiches. So Muralee goes up to Joe, to tell him something inspiring? No. To relocate him? No. What for then?
"Joe, move your speed!"
That was it. "Move your speed.". At that one, Hakeem burst out laughing (wouldn't anyone?) and promptly got suspended for a week.
The moral? Never correct an Indian's English. Lest he move your speed out of there.
And as a sidenote, "Move your speed" has become a staple of the shifts. "Nick, move your speed with that bagel". "Crystal, move your speed with that Ice Cap mix." But we aint gonna tell Muralee that.
STORY 3.....THE MESSAGE
There was a girl named Margaret. She was a supervisor. Now, your supervisors generally gotta be pretty smart, right? Wrong. Here's a notice she put up on cell phones, letter for letter, nothing embellished or changed:
"NO CELL PHONES ARE ALOUD TO ON OR U ARE NOT ALOUD TO TALK ON THEM WHILE U ON THE CLOCK IF U ARE COUGHT ITS A WRITE UP THAT WILL LEAD TO SUSPENSION THANK YOU"
....I think I don't need to say anything else. I'm pleased to admit she went to work at a pet store. And those pets will have quite the grammar lesson.
STORY 4.......HOW TO ORDER COFFEE
Some customers get right to the point. "Medium double double." Okay. Some like to dance around before ordering. This story will be continually updated with example dof the latter.
The order: A small decaf coffee with one cream on the side
How it was requested: "I need a small decaffienated coffee with no cream or sugar in it, but I would like one cream seperated and put to the outside."
The order: Two glazed timbits
How it was requested "Two glazed balls in a sack" XDXDXDXDXDXDXD
The order: A bluebery muffin heated with butter
How it was ordered: "I want a blueberry muffin, melted with butter."
STORY 5.....HOW TO TAKE AN ORDER
I work the afternoon shift more often than not. That can get extremely boring. So the Four Stooges (Myself, Black Nick, Dave, and John) always like to think of new ways to take orders on drive-thru. Here are a couple:
"Welcome to McDonalds"- Dave
"Hope you don't want a coffee. We stopped selling that inferior stuff."- Me
"Welcome to White Castle, this is the place to be if ya smokin' weed"- Dave
"How....can.....I...help...you?"- Black Nick
"Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?"- Me
"STOP BEEPING AT ME"- Me (Influenced by darktremor on another one of his lists.)
"We're almost closed"- Me
"WHAT CHU WANT MOTHAFUCKA?"- John
"Timmy Hoes"- Me
"Name that Tiesto track, get a free coffee"- Me
"This aint Dunkin Donuts"- Dave
Alternatively, we all can leave out headsets on lock, that way when a customer approaches the drive-thru, our headsets automatically turn on, thereby letting the customer hear everything we're saying. Often we tell the customer to wait a moment and discuss our sexual exploits.
STORY 6...WHY PISSING ALAINA OFF IS A REALLY REALLY BAD IDEA
Referring to melted muffin lady in the story above, when I gave her her muffin she complained it wasn't warm enough. Alaina takes it, puts it in the microwave for a whole minute, and says "now it's gonna burn her."
....THAT MUFFIN WAS SMOKING.
No joke. Smoke was pouring out of that bag. And Alaina ACTUALLY GAVE IT TO HER.
....NEVER. EVER. PISS. OFF. ALAINA.
STORY 7...WHAT WE DO WHILE WE TELL PEOPLE TO WAIT.
On one of those times where we feel like being pricks and telling people to wait while we just tsand around, me and Black Nick were discussing stuff we should do during slow shifts.
HIM: I like to masturbate into the coffee while having naughty fantasies about Halle Berry and ice cream.
ME: What flavour?
HIM: (matter-of-factly) French Vanilla.
....something tells me he actually does this, the way he was going on about it. Fascinating.
STORY 8......AH, THE USEFULNESS OF TIME.
This happened at about 1:30 on a Sunday morning shift. At 1:30 on a Sunday morning shift, everybody is pissy about something. Everybody. So the following exchange must keep that in mind
CUSTOMER: Yes, and I'd also like to try your breakfast andwich
ME: We stop serving those at 11, ma'am.
CUSTOMER: Does that mean it's not available?
ME: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK? DOES YOUR FUCKING CLOCK SAY 11? ARE YOU LIVING IN LOS ANGELES? OF COURSE ITS NOT FUCKING AVAILABLE, AND IT HASN'T BEEN FOR TWO AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS!
*cough* I won't go into the aftermath. But it was worth it (No, I wasn't fired.)
STORY 9.......LAURA'S COFFEE.
A couple days ago, I was working the night shift. At around 11, Laura came through. Now, from what I told you about Laura, do you think this was a pleasant exchange? No. No, it was not. First she came to the order box.
HER: I want a real coffee, not that watery shit you always give me! I'm gonna come to the window and throw it in your face! *drives off*
*she gets to the window*
ME: Oh, hey Laura
LAURA: *laughs* Hey Nick. Working the night shift?
ME: Only for another few minutes. Heather and Beth and in the back dumpster diving*
LAURA: Oh, okay, good, cuz legally you can't work this shift.
ME: I know. So do ya want something?
HER *talking very fast* Yeah, I want a large coffee with two cream and three splenda with a double cup, not stirred with that nasty spoon, from a bottom pot, but don't give me any bottom-of-the-pot**
ME: *head spinning* Okay.
I got it right...eventually...
* A long story I'm not gonna explain.
** Refers to the last cup of coffee in a pot.
This is far from finished. More is coming soon ;)