Things Margo Said

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========== Things Margo Said ==============
~ As I Remembered in Reverse Chronology. (With annotations. jw)

You can tweet jw at @JohnWalling, if that's how you hang.
{tweet} Indicates a previous escape on Twitter.

Margo is an old friend of mine who provided a wealth of quotes and observations. They're not all funny but some get you thinking. Dates are when I got around to recording them. Here are the most recent first:

6/6/2009
Margo in motion, "Eventually you have to go with the wind and the tide, but for now I am dancing in my own direction."

5/30/2009
Margo says she is forty-something. I believe the 'something' part.

5/30/2009
Margo has faith: "I do religion to keep God on my side. So far it's working."

5/30/2009 {tweet}
Margo's advice to women: "If you blind-date a dictator, meet in a neutral country and bring cab fare. Pinochet was a mistake."

5/28/2009
Margo being Margo: "My tolerance can flog your intolerance into submission because your thinking is not quite sound and your sentences are incomplete."

5/26/2009 {tweet} 5/30
Margo makes a point: "I take things out of the box and remove the labels. For example, this could be a can of baby corn or Vienna sausage."

5/24/2009
Margo's rule: "Before accepting a dinner party invitation, find out who is being served for dinner."

5/19/2009
Margo quotes "Lost in Austen" for my benefit: "You are so relentlessly unpleasant!" Ouch.

5/11/2009 {tweet} 5/26/2009
Margo's garden diary: "I put vitamins in the slug bait today. If it doesn't kill them it will make them stronger."

5/10/2009
Margo on celebrity technology: "I enjoy watching talk show celebrity guests being hip, fumbling back and forth between twittering and tweeting and acting all befuddled."

13:48 5/10/2009
Margo gets a new mattress: "My bed is beautiful and floral. My neural nets are refreshed and the pain in my hip is gone."

5/8/2009
Margo left me this voice message: "Frank proposed marriage again. I asked Frank, 'Do you want to marry me so I will drain your snake for free?' He said, 'Darling, I wouldn't ask you to do anything I wouldn't do for myself.' I left him at the Alibi bar nursing a gin and tonic. I could do better at a retirement home." (I didn't know men still drink gin-tonics by choice. jw)

5/8/2009
Margo is sending me messages about the condition of her garden. In summary: Bees discovered the foxbox blossoms and the hummingbirds are displeased. Birds attacked bees. Cats attacked birds. Casualties are rising. Margo is so stressed she is planning on pulling out the foxbox plants, spreading mulch, and spray painting the ground green. (Is foxbox a real plant? I don't think so. jw)

5/8/2009
Margo informs: "9 out of 10 men have genital herpes. Or, is it genital effusions? Either way, I can't stand those damn TV commercials."

5/7/2009
Margo is astute: "Everything that can go wrong, probably won't. Otherwise, the cost of insurance would be out of the question."

5/7/2009 {Tweet} 5/31
Margo rejects effete artistic sensibility: "Do you have an 'appetite' for quality art? Really? Have you ever licked a Picasso or a Dali?"

5/5/2009
Margo gets pithy: "Once you open a mystery box, the mystery is gone." (I think she got the quote from J.J. Abrams, but she's taking credit. jw)

5/3/2009
Margo waxing poetic: "Oh, great aeroplane, I have nowhere to be this year. Save my jet fuel in your prodigious storage tanks."

4/26/2009
Margo confronts aging: "I fought a mid-life crisis in self defense, and the crisis won."

4/26/2009
Margo applies irony to TV violence: "A salt-bullet wound is the worst."

4/30/2009
Margo on love: "Did you ever want someone to be your soul mate, but he didn't reciprocate? Me neither."

4/8/2009
Margo expressing herself on behalf of her occasional boyfriend: "Frank has flaws. His flaws have flaws. His flaws are his best features."

4/1/2009
Margo on mortality: "If I get a terminal disease, I want a walk-around disease, not one of those lay-down-and-can't-get-up diseases."

3/17/2009
Margo on her life: "If birth certificates gave 'cause of life', mine would say 'a pint of Southern Comfort.'"

3/15/2009
Margo on optimism: "My comfort zone is too narrow. I stepped outside it and pulled back a throbbing toe."

3/11/2009
Margo questioning the news: "Raul Castro wants a meeting with President Obama without preconditions. Isn't requiring no preconditions a precondition?" (How often have I dismissed these little semantic conundrums without a second thought? jw)

2/16/2009
Margo overheard talking on the phone to Frank: "I loath you! I disdain you! I despise you! I scorn you! ... I take it all back. I hate you!"

2/16/2009
Margo gets 60 Minutes: "Power corrupts. I wish I was corrupt."

1/31/2009
Margo explains her position: "What I said makes sense in the context of my delusions."

1/31/2009 {tweet} 5/20/2011
Margo on nature: "I couldn't survive in the wild. I taste too good."

1/29/2009
Margo on macro economics: "How do you run a superpower on a shoe string? You borrow money from China and you buy all their swag."

1/23/2009
Margo pretending to read a label: "This can of Fizz-Whizz contains fat-free fat, sugar-free sugar, gluten-free gluten, and smog-free air."

1/27/2009
Margo upgrades a Leno joke: "Why would a man get sexual favors from a car wash vacuum? Couldn't he take the pressure from a water hose?"

1/10/2009
Margo on relationships: "I don't take relationship quizzes, even if I have a relationship, which I don't, but I could."

1/5/2009
Margo defines MADD: "MADD stands for Minstrels Against Drunkin Donuts. I know I'm right. What else could it be?"

1/3/2009
Margo tries New Age methods: "I released my inner dove and my inner falcon and now I'm a mess."

1/2/2009
Margo nails the generation gap: "All around the world, adults are having sex without their children's consent."

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Footnote: Margo's existence is transitional, but the more she says, the more lively she becomes. (jw)

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