The '03 Movie Hierarchy

  1. A
  2. The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara
  3. Spellbound
  4. All the Real Girls (2)

  5. A-
  6. Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2)
  7. Finding Nemo (4)
  8. Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2)
  9. Gerry (2)
  10. The Secret Lives of Dentists (2)
  11. Zero Day
  12. Friday Night
  13. Dracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary
  14. Owning Mahowny
  15. Capturing the Friedmans
  16. Bad Santa (5)
  17. Irreversible (3)
  18. Intolerable Cruelty
  19. Down with Love
  20. House of Sand and Fog
  21. Mystic River
  22. demonlover (2)
  23. The Backyard

  24. B+
  25. May
  26. Resurrection of the Little Match Girl
  27. Ichi the Killer (2)
  28. Stevie
  29. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
  30. Fulltime Killer
  31. Love Actually
  32. The School of Rock
  33. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
  34. Cowboy Bebop: The Movie
  35. X2: X-Men United
  36. Step Into Liquid
  37. Charlotte Sometimes
  38. Raising Victor Vargas
  39. The Hunted
  40. Bubba Ho-Tep (2)
  41. Lost in La Mancha
  42. House of 1000 Corpses

  43. B
  44. Matchstick Men
  45. The Rundown
  46. Millennium Actress
  47. Freddy vs. Jason
  48. Holes
  49. Willard
  50. Angel on the Right
  51. Lawless Heart
  52. The Italian Job
  53. Monster
  54. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
  55. Big Fish
  56. The Same River Twice
  57. Cold Mountain
  58. Winged Migration

  59. B-
  60. Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat
  61. Phone Booth
  62. In My Skin
  63. The Lizzie McGuire Movie
  64. Koi... Mil Gaya
  65. Bad Boys II
  66. The Dancer Upstairs
  67. Black Tape: A Tehran Diary (The Videotape Fariborz Kamkari Found in the Garbage)
  68. American Splendor
  69. Casa de Los Babys
  70. Swimming Pool
  71. The Good Thief
  72. Head of State
  73. In the Cut
  74. An Injury to One
  75. Anything Else
  76. Shanghai Knights
  77. 7th Street
  78. Cinemania
  79. The Core
  80. My Little Eye
  81. Decasia

  82. C+
  83. Manic
  84. Cheerleader Ninjas
  85. PTU
  86. Lost in Translation
  87. Gigli
  88. The Glow
  89. The Recruit
  90. The Eye
  91. City of God
  92. Out of Time
  93. 21 Grams
  94. The Son
  95. Gothika
  96. American Wedding
  97. Hulk
  98. Pantaleon y las visitadores
  99. So Close
  100. Peter Pan
  101. Confidence
  102. The Good Old Naughty Days
  103. Cabin Fever
  104. Final Destination 2
  105. Jeepers Creepers 2
  106. The Triplets of Belleville
  107. Freaky Friday
  108. Secret Lives: Hidden Children and Their Rescuers During WWII
  109. 28 Days Later

  110. C
  111. Dreamcatcher (2)
  112. Returner
  113. Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
  114. Elephant
  115. Chaos
  116. The Man Without a Past
  117. Don’t Tempt Me
  118. Buffalo Soldiers
  119. Run Ronnie Run!
  120. Paycheck
  121. Skin of Man, Heart of Beast
  122. The Missing Gun
  123. Darkness Falls
  124. A Mighty Wind
  125. Bulletproof Monk
  126. The Housekeeper
  127. Bend it Like Beckham
  128. Bhoot
  129. He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
  130. Whale Rider
  131. Calendar Girls
  132. Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters
  133. The Matrix Reloaded
  134. Anger Management
  135. That’s My Face
  136. Suspended Animation

  137. C-
  138. L’Auberge Espagnole
  139. Bruce Almighty
  140. Beyond Re-Animator
  141. Millennium Mambo
  142. Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
  143. Spun
  144. thirteen
  145. Spider

  146. D+
  147. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle
  148. Mimic: Sentinel
  149. The Glamorous Life of Sachiko Hanai
  150. Masked and Anonymous
  151. Gasoline
  152. Pistol Opera
  153. Lilya 4-Ever
  154. The Matrix Revolutions
  155. Johnny English

  156. D
  157. Flesh for the Beast
  158. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
  159. The Princess Blade
  160. How to Deal
  161. Wrong Turn
  162. A Man Apart
  163. The Embalmer
  164. Tears of the Sun
  165. Mansion by the Lake

  166. D-
  167. The Real Cancun
  168. Underworld
  169. House of the Dead

  170. F
  171. Identity
  172. Killer Klowns from Kansas on Krack
Author Comments: 

Not much of a year... but we take what we can get, I guess. (Films with numbers besides them indicate multiple viewings.)

Wow, I've really enjoyed checking out your '02-'04 movie breakdowns. I can find much to agree with, a little to disagree with (adding spice to the experience), and much envy in many of the things you've seen that I haven't gotten to yet (particularly out of Asia). Thanks for kicking these in!

Will you be tackling earlier years?

Most likely... I've got complete lists up to the year 1998. Beyond that, who can say... lots of catching up and rewatching still needed. (I've began believing, for instance, that my F grade for "The Game" may have been a bit harsh...)

C'mon, Underworld wasn't *that* bad. How can you give any movie featuring Kate Beckinsale in skintight vinyl a D-?

If I did letter grades, I'd probably put it somewhere in very low C territory. Beckinsale irrationally continues to be a draw for me because of Cold Comfort Farm (not because of vinyl :-), even if she did spend all that good filmic karma several times over by now.

Well, besides the film's technical ineptitude, its inability to make sense even on its own terms, its godawful portentiousness that outdoes even "The Matrix Reherniated", its painful monochromatic idea of "style" and its hilariously bad wrapup... there's also the fact that I just don't find Beckinsale terribly attractive. She has a pretty face, yes, but she also has a figure like a broomstick.

She has a pretty face, yes, but she also has a figure like a broomstick.

Sorry to chime in on this so late, but what's wrong with figures like broomsticks? (I'm thinking of Ms. Knightley, naturally.)

Well, nothing if your tastes run to someone like Kate or Keira. For reasons which elude me, though, I've always been attracted to girls of a somewhat more vigorous constitution. Think pre-fame Brittany Murphy.

Looney Tunes?!

Wow, didn't see that coming.

Wow, how did I not notice that? My mind must have recoiled from the shock as I was scanning the list. Even now I feel a bit woozy. :-)

Yes, "Looney Tunes". It's only the funniest comedy of the year, as well as a brilliant homage to the Loonies of yesteryear AND a return to form for previously-MIA director Joe Dante. What's unexpected about that?

Well, my review is here. Our completely differing perspectives reinforces how subjective humor is. We don't let our kids watch much TV, so they latch onto whatever we bring home for movie night, and Looney Tunes managed to bore both the kids and the parents.

Don't get me wrong - I'm glad you liked it - and whatever tickles the funnybone is good medicine, I was just surprised. Not only because of my own dislike of the movie, but from what I had gleaned of your tastes from looking over your lists.

By the way, has Joe Dante really had enough good movies to establish a "form" he's returning to? :-)

"Pirahna", "Gremlins", "Gremlins 2", "Innerspace", "Matinee"... if you don't love these movies, you have no soul. (Kidding. But still, I always liked his infectious brand of movie-mad filmmaking. Heck, I even mostly liked "Small Soldiers".)

Alrighty, I suppose I did like 3.5 of those 5 (I'm withholding 0.5 from Piranha since I haven't seen it since I was a wee lad, and I didn't think much of Gremlins 2).