"Well THAT was original..."

  1. Infinite Variations of...

  2. ME: You're terrible.

  3. "COMEDIAN": That's not what your mom said last night...

  4. ME: When's the train going to arrive?

  5. "COMEDIAN": It arrived on your mom last night.

  6. ME: Dude, whatever floats your boat.

  7. "COMEDIAN": Dude, I floated your mom's boat last night.

  8. ME: ... what!?!?!?

  9. Yes, indeed, I got my hair cut yesterday. And then I went out in public...

  10. INNOCENT BYSTANDER I KNOW: Hey, did you get your hair cut?

  11. ME: (sarcastically) I'd like one more person to ask me that, please.

  12. "COMEDIAN": Hey Doug, did you get your hair cut?

  13. BAHHHH HAHAHAHAH!!!! Omg funny.

  14. ME: (Really could say anything... such as...) Would you by any chance have the time? (Or like...) Why didn't you call me? (Or like...) Dude is that a rash on your arm or something?


  16. ME: (Stares) ...

  17. ME: (I really actually could say anything here... like) Ham.

  18. "COMEDIAN": That's what she said.

  19. ... okay really it wasn't even funny on The Office.